Today I'm excited to share a guest post from my friend Payton of A Hopeful Happenstance. She has some pretty rad posts on motherhood, marriage, faith, and more. Enjoy!
I have a tiny little 15 month old beauty. She lights up my life and makes my heart whole. So whole that it seems it may explode out of my chest most days. I love her so much I'm sure before I had her I barely knew what love was. I love her so much it hurts all the time. I tell you this to preface what I'm about to write...
There are a thousand things I should have done before I had her. Well, let me clarify; there are a thousand moments I should have paused to savor. Things move so rapidly once little ones jump into the family picture. Granted, things always come up that make people say, 'oh I should have done that before I ... [insert major life event here].' We can always come up with reasons not to do something, I'm not saying wait to have kids till you check off every dream and goal for your life. Your kids will force you to grow and you’ll be stretched and formed into a better person daily. Taking them along with you on the road to your hopes and dreams only makes them better when you finally reach your destination.
But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t savor your baby free days either; you really should, this way you can have those times to hold onto when you feel you might collapse from exhaustion as you clean mashed banana out of your littles hair. Spending only a month with a tiny but steadily growing human proves to moms that life is insanely short (if the thousands of people saying it over and over wasn’t enough). We learn to take a deep breath and savor all those baby sights and smells that make us so weary. Some day these moments we try to soak up will be memories we struggle to pull to the front of our minds. We know the baby days are short but you know what no one told me!? The single days are short. The baby free married days are shorter! The pregnancy is SHORT! I LOVE being a young married momma, but no one reminded me to soak up those days like they remind me to soak up my little baby.
Here it is, your reminder. All the days are long but the years are extremely short. Soak it all up and tuck it away for later. Your memories of the baby years will get you through some tough days. When your kiddo heads off to school. When your last born moves out. Weddings and grandchildren and great-grandchildren. People will remind you of this. What I’m reminding you of now, your memories of your free time, peeing in peace, shaving both legs at once, sleeping in … these will get you through some crazy nights and long days during the baby years. You need a well of moments to draw from when you need to escape the baby and momma drama just the same as later in life when you’ll want a well of baby day moments to savor.
You can't live trying to avoid regret and let your life be dictated by ‘FOMO’ … I can’t believe that’s even a thing. Anyway, someday you'll look back and realize you did nothing but worry about missing out.. Which will cause you to miss a lot! But there are some simple pleasures I definitely wish I would have savored more. If you’re pregnant or trying to conceive, expecting baby number one someday soon, working to adopt, or whatever your road to parenthood, take note: Savor the basics. Make a list, think it over, check it twice, do some big things because yes, your free time will greatly diminish. But I’m not talking about skydiving or climbing Everest, I’m talking about these…
@@The Pre-Baby Bucket List@@:
Take a 30 minute shower.
Shower till the hot water runs out. Take a bath and then take a shower. Put music on while you shower because you don't yet have to parent from said shower; 'go find Daniel Tiger baby, go eat your Cheerios, and try not to break anything for the three minutes so I can shave my other leg pleaseeeee.'
Eat a hot meal.
Eat every bite like you'll never eat a hot meal again.. Because you might not. Warm maybe... Hot, I doubt it. Eat all of your favorite foods and junk food and sugary snacks with freedom because like the good parent you are (wanting to feed your child healthy snacks and all) very soon you'll be eating that chocolate hiding in your bedroom with your secret stash.
Watch a movie.
A wholeeeeeee movie!!! Watch an old fav or visit the theater and find a new one. No.. Do both! Definitely do both. I'll save our recent trip to the movie theater for another day but I'll tell you now it involves a new set of clothes for more than one person and many many trips to the lobby.
Sleep till noon. Sleep for hours straight. Savor those hours because they're going to have to hold you over for a few years (per baby). Nap. Nap on the couch, on a chair, you could nap really anywhere! On a train or on a plane for soon no sleep will make you insane! You'll watch cartoons and the babies will quiet. But the second your eyes close, your patience? They'll try it. ... Sorry, we've been on a Dr. Suess jag. Just take a nap okay?
Try them all. Personally I wish I had more time to paint, or sew, or learn to knit... But I love you ladies so I use my spare time to share my words with you! I'm working on finding a balance between me time and work time. We'll see how it goes...
You have a few right? Well go see them right now! Tell them you love them and that someday you'll ignore them and hide away in your home. Kindly ask them to give you time with your new baby and after an appropriate amount to come over and pull you out of those yoga pants, help stuff you into some jeans, and take you out for a girls night. There are many things in life that if you stop doing them... You forget how much you need them... Girls night is one. You need time with other women and without your precious child. It's hard but make time for your friends and savor the fact that you can make plans with friends without planning around all of your children!
Okay, I hear you. You're saying that ALL of these items are things you do all the time! This isn't a bucket list!
Well, you just wait. Trust me. Go down the list. Savor these things. You can get a babysitter for the big real bucket list items you have.. Bungee jumping and whatnot. But you probably won't hire a sitter to let you eat your dinner while it's still hot or let you finish that late night movie.
I know the days are long and you know the years are short. Savor it all, fill up your well, you’ll thank yourself someday. I promise!
Meet Payton of A Hopeful Happenstance
In 2015 I had a baby and found that, though the days were challenging, the work I was doing just wasn't very stimulating. I follow several amazing women on social media that have helped me in many ways during this new leg of life. Whether through helpful hints on how to handle this new tiny human or articles that simply said, 'you rock mama.' They put a lot of hard work into their pages and I thought, 'I'd love to do what they do,' but really I'd just love something to focus on other than changing diapers and reading about breastfeeding (which was a lot in the first few months). It was then I set out to challenge myself to create something that a stay at home mom could be proud of, and that thing was this blog; my teeny tiny corner of the internet full of confusing coding and all things foreign to my 'non-techy' brain. It's been an interesting adventure so far and I'm excited about this new leg of the journey. Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest